I took an open bus tour of 2 hours and saw the big rock formations from a far. We stayed in a lovely house and then we went to the Mariposa Grove with the gigantic Sequoia’s in the south part of the park.  We had a wonderful time. The park is just very beautiful.

The weather is quite beautiful at the moment: the sun shines and the temperature is around 80F and at night it cools off so you can sleep very well.

The second surgery went very well and the margins are clear. So, we are very happy about that! First mile stone and the surgery chapter is closed!

This morning, they put in a cathport or mediport in my left breast to be able to easily draw blood and use it for the chemotherapy infusions without having to stick me every time. It is a weird feeling in my neck, but I am glad I have it now after this morning’s experience of 3 failed IV tries. After that they put the IV in my neck where they had to be anyway, which put me into a dozing sleep. Can you imagine during the treatment when they would have to stick me every time and the arteries harden! I know this is still a problem with a lot of people during their treatments.

I also don’t know what kind of anesthetics they gave me, but after I had a little nap this afternoon, I had to take this pill. I pick up the water can and want to pour this in the glass, and I want to take the pill out of the bottle. Somehow, I started pouring the water in the bottle filled with pills!! When I realized what I was doing, I was alert right away and ran to the sink and poured out the water and then the pills on a napkin. I was able to save them. Can you imagine! One of the side effects of chemo therapy is amnesia! And I even didn’t start that treatment yet!!!

So, now up to the next phase: chemo therapy: 4 times with 3 weeks interval (if my white blood platelets are back on the right level, otherwise you have to wait a week) and one medication for a whole year every 3 weeks! So, there we go and we will get there!

I used my new pug mill (to wedge my clay) for the first time and it went very well and I threw some plates! Loved it, but sometimes it is difficult to get into the workshop.

I also did prepare all kind of little food snacks, so, in case you want to eat something, that it is small and not right away big! I got myself some wigs. I tried some long, blond hair wigs, but I just could not get used to it. I didn’t know the person I was looking at. And it was too much money for just a joke. So, Adriaan still has to wait for his woman with long, blond hair!!!

Last Wednesday, I went to the Breast Awareness group guided by the nurse of my surgeon. Of course, we all had our own stories and by sharing and listening and asking you help and learn from each other.
The next day, I went to a Chemotherapy class. I read already a lot about it, but again it is very revealing and you feel not alone. The nurse showed me the infusion center and that was quite a shock for me. You see all the people sitting in a big room with a nice open view to the outside in their own space/chair with curtain which they can close and personal tv and space for your caregiver. I was glad I saw it now and not the day of.
On Friday, I went to the Breast Cancer Connections group in Palo Alto and they had so much information and some wigs!!!! and I received a wonderful big comfort tote with all kinds of gifts made by girl scouts and a book about nutrition etc. And today, there was another group session with some great help.

Everyday I go on my bicycle to Stanford and Palo Alto first on a path through the forest and then a road through part of a forest and then I arrive at the campus. The weather is a little dark and sometimes a little rain, but it wonderful to feel the wind in your face and it gives good exercise. Today, I picked some wildflowers and listened to the wind!
But now I have to absorb everything, do some financing and go into my workshop in the garage. I have to touch the clay again before the 2nd operation! Wish me luck!

I met with the oncologist, the 2nd opinion doctor, and the surgeon and the great news is that my lymph nodes are free form cancer!!! This is wonderful!!:)   The surgeon removed the cancerous mass, but in the margin around are still pre-cancerous cells DCIS, so, that means that he has to go in again. Now, the wound needs to heal a little, so, my next operation will be on June the 8th. Everything goes very well and I can move my arm in all directions, but I have to watch out for too heavy lifting (25 pnd of clay!)(lymphedema).

This is part of our yard here in the US with once in a while deer passing through and rabbits hopping all over the place (I miss my cats).

Then, if the surgeon is able to get everything out, the chemo therapy will start on June the 20st and for 3 months and after that radiation for 6 weeks. So, still a ways to go, but we had a great start and my underarm is without stitches!!

In the meantime, Adriaan returned to Japan and met with Yna van der Meulen and Mels Boom. They went to Mashiko together and with the help of Euan Craig were able to have their interviews for the Dutch “Klei” magazine and expositions in Europe. Adriaan gave a presentation to a selected group of master potters of Mashiko and the mayor and curator of the Ceramic Art Museum and explained his idea how to help Mashiko. They formed a committee and the process started and is on its way.

My son Arjan stayed with me and took care of me for some days and it was  wonderful to be together for a while. Tomorrow, I bring him to the airport at 4 am for his return to Chicago. He will have a big exam in 2 weeks and he is studying hard!

And it is wonderful that so many friends help me and bring food. This is incredible! Thank you all so very much!

Thank you so much! Love you all!!!!!


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Two days ago at around this time 3pm I came out of surgery: a lumpectomy. The first thing I did was moving my arm to feel if it was bandaged and it was not! I am so happy about this and thankful, because this means that the cancer hasn’t spread to other lymph nodes. The day before the surgery they had injected my breast with a radioactive fluid which moved into my lymph nodes. In the morning they had inserted a wire in my breast under ultrasound guidance to find the mass, because it was not a lump. So, all kinds
The Zaimokuza beach of Kamakura, Japan.

of methods to help the surgeon with the removal of the mass. During the operation they checked some lymph nodes and would they have seen cancer cells, then they would have taken out more. Next Monday and Thursday they will have the results and we will know more about the treatment. I stayed one night in the hospital. My heart rate was quite low. Now, I’m at home and Adriaan takes great care of me!

Yesterday, I brought all my “Kamakura-Red” booklets to 3 Kamakura Bori Stores, the bookstore, a gallery and a museum  in Kamakura. Some friends are helping me with supplying the stores.

On my way back, I rode my bicycle on the grounds of the Hachimangu Shrine. There were so many tourists; unfortunately, almost all Japanese. I stopped at the pond where the overhang is blooming with the Wisteria flowers. A group of young women were eating their home made lunch bento boxes; so cute, small, beautiful and prepared with care! And they were happy to smile for me for the picture.


I didn’t have time to glaze and fire my kiln, but every day was filled.
I met some friends and I received some wonderful gifts: a beautiful kimono with about a thousand cranes on it and one thousand origami cranes folded into ten strings of 100 cranes. Incredible! The crane represents health, happiness and good luck. Lots of friends encouraged me and wished me well. Thank you all very much.

So, now this is what I have to do! Get better!

Most of the thoughts I still have, because I had my own little quake.

I am not a person who would tell the whole world, but I remember a friend who blogged about her illness. You help yourself with writing and getting it out. Also, so many people ask you about it, so it is also good they can read about it and then you don’t have to repeat yourself all the time. I have many friends around the world, so, when they go on my website, they are interested in me. And also this is part of life, and happening to a lot of people. I am not ashamed and want to be open and share also the bad news with my friends.

Normally, I have every year a mammogram in March, but because I had a breast infection in August and I had been to the doctor a few times, I thought everything was alright. Then I started to cough terribly and after 2 weeks I visited my doctor. He gave me some antibiotics and cough medicine, but also told me to have a mammogram anyway. Well, a good thing I did, because they called me back for more mammograms, ultrasounds and biopsy. And last week, they told me I have early stage breast cancer. In the meantime, I had an MRI and another ultrasound and another biopsy is scheduled for next week. It is like entering a roller coaster, what is not about to stop yet. I am quite a realistic person and for myself it is the best to do everything and all the exams possible right away to deal with this. Adriaan supports me with every step, and is wonderful.

Next week, I would like to go to Japan for a week before the operation to settle some pressing issues, visit some of my close friends and go to Mashiko and still see how I can help. Hopefully, then I can relax and concentrate to get healthy.

I left thinking to be gone for 2 weeks, but then it all changed. I canceled my exhibition, but try now to reschedule it as a combined show with my Japanese potter friends from Mashiko. I canceled my horsehair workshop for the 14th of May and I planned to help 2 publicists/writers from a Dutch clay magazine with interviewing ceramic artists from Mashiko in Mashiko. I think it is now even more important that the visit and interviews happen. They show the world the beautiful pottery and culture of Mashiko and Japanese people. It also demonstrates that people still could and should visit Mashiko. Hopefully the publicity and exhibition will be helpful as a small step in helping rebuilding Mashiko.

My good friend, Euan Craig, will still help with the interviews, despite what has happened to him in the earthquake (his blog: http://euancraig.blogspot.com/). My husband Adriaan will be with Euan instead of me. I feel very fortunate.

Concerning me, it is incredible all the help, understanding and support I get from my husband, children and family and so many friends. Thank you all very much.

I started exercising again and it feels good. I turn on the music which just flows through me and which makes my body move. With that I just think that all the bad energy flows away and the sunny, light energy flows in. I like Cascada and such, for rhythm and especially when they are singing: it will be alright or it is going to be better, I sing along out loud!

This “Encircled Line” Kamakura-red Plate was sold within 3 days!

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